Something Deep About Commitment...

I haven't so much as even considered that people may have felt differently about what it meant to be in love and the steps that are the regiment of feeling that way. I thought it was always, boy meets girl, boy falls head over heels for girl, boy and girl are in love, boy and girl get married, have babies, live happily ever after, and die in each others arms. True? maybe for some. Probably not for most.

It seems as though in this country, girl meets boy, girl has sex with boy, boy decides if the sex is good enough to stick around, boy and girl get married because the girl will leave him if they don't, boy and girl have babies, boy and girl decide they hate each other, spend hundreds in counseling, before getting divorced and feebly attempt to "out-parent" the other, while screwing up their kids beyond recognition.

Either that or they star on MTV's 16 and Pregnant.

I think that the most important thing for anyone to realize is love, and what it means, and that it's unique to each and every person. For me, love it the phone call I make because I want to share my utter joy with someone else, who will be just as happy as me. I want to be able to be myself in no other estranged manner and be loved as much as if I had just given you a million dollars and BP's head. I want you to challenge me, and not back down. I need strength, more than my own. I need sensitivity. And I think most of all, I need respect.

Which leads me to my next point. I think that this is why love varies for different people. The level of respect, determines how the relationship will play out. If a person is raised with much in their family, they generally expect much, and vice versa. Which is why in movies, we are always so excited when two people of polar opposite households unite. This has been the case for generations, and occasionally people change, but, in the words of the beautiful and astute Justin Long, "That is the exception, not the rule".

This brings me to marriage. I think that marriage is a bond, just like anyone else. But the reasons behind it are much different than the norm may perhaps define it. If you are not associated with a religion, or perhaps even in some cases, if you are, marriage is less about a union before god, and more about the love and mutual respect you have for one another. Marriage is a declaration. Dear World, I am so very in love with this person, and I wish to be forever united with him or her and share this love with you, until I die. A bold and brave commitment to just willy-nilly make, as is the American way. The big party, the hors d'oeuvres, the music and alcohol aside, a wedding is about love, being in love, and sharing love with those you love, and marriage is the same without the fun stuff. It's just as much about love as it is about working together and respecting each other and committing to each other.

Which seems to be a hard thing for people to understand, as if without alcohol, there is no more enchantment, (which is partially true...). But divorce is on the rise. Why? Because people don't understand that marriage, or the bond of love, is not perfect, and it takes a lot of hard work. It requires tender care. It seems as though at the first sign of a rough patch, they bolt. In the words of the wise Will Smith on his marriage, "If you let divorce be an option, you will get divorced". And the American fall back is, well, if i doesn't work out, you can always get divorced! How is that okay? How can marriage remain this "sacred" bond if the "try and try again" method comes standard, like a crappy transmission in a chrysler? It doesn't seem fair to have to double standard in marriage and hypocrisy, when some people actually take it seriously.

However, I truly believe that the real celebration should occur on anniversaries. The celebration should be, look how long we've been together, fought together, laughed together, lived together, loved together. Not necessarily the actual wedding day. Or maybe perhaps, the celebrations should become more intimate. As love grows and grows, as it should with time and age, it's something that you can't nearly express with a party and some cheap booze. It's a very personal and intimate bond that only you and your partner know.

Regardless of how it is celebrated or enjoyed or even carried out, marriage is about love. True and honest, respectful, mutual, undying love. There is a purity as well as a rawness to it that can't be described by anything or compared to anything else. But, it's what keeps this world going 'round. That, lust, and money.

What did you do today?

this is a black tarp, but the gleam is sharp, from the sun that burns and churns and returns with more light than you thought it would ever produce, and excuse after excuse keeps you staring at its shine as time is tick tocking away and before you know it its another day that you wasted away. but the city is still gleaming, beaming, streaming for more life than you knew what to do with, so you sit, watch, listen, create another situation with no eventual destination, and you're wondering where did everything go? flew by me, beside me, inside me no more as i watch the shine fade past the last fast cast of its shadow, and its dark. and im wondering where in the hell it all went, sent to a place far from here. Where there is nothing to hear. There is no noise to cloud its life like it does here in mine, when all my thoughts get melted together and swelter in the sun, the burning sun that torches my skin and makes it hot to the touch. And much of what is left you can't use or choose to abuse, because its all run dry. And thats why I, am licking my lips with the spit from the tip of my tongue that would otherwise keep my mouth lucid for words and herds of rants and chants and other banter to fall out in coherent sentences. But the city is dark today and my thoughts in my head are lonely without the thoughts that I sent away. Oh why did I ever do that, I stranded my mind with itself and that was the biggest mistake out of any I've made, and Jesus CHRIST knows thats a lot. But maybe they are happy closer to the sun where they are warm in the bake away from my baked brain that just sits and splits and rips on the innocent as they carry on their days in the lonely dark and angry world that they have been subjected to that i escape in my rain of mary jane, away from the dismal pain of what you call... LIFE. And its fine with me that you may sit there and judge, and re-judge me as you hear these words tossed and double crossed in your gourd with your hoard of battled rattled and otherwise twisted thoughts of what you assumed this was all meant to be. Meant to be for you? or for me... Because the black tarp is burning me and turning me into a zombie just like the rest of the creatures that eat'cher brains for meals. Where is the creative spark in the life you chose to pose to the world you claim to be the same as utopia? Where is the life that promises the world to curled up babies in their mommy's laps? Where is the joy in the art of expression and depression and obsession of love? How do we live without these things and still call it life... Because life, is not under the black tarp. Its away from the harp of words from a drone on the tube that you watch while your time tick tocks and knocks thunderous raps on your door. What do you have to show for what was given to you? What did you do today?