Falling Open

I had this moment in time when i stopped.

Stopped my life and realized that the feeling

inside my chest is the falling out.

The falling open.

What it feels like to fall free, so freely,

with all the windows open and to feel the breeze

so fresh on my face.

Somehow I lost track of what it feels like to

fall. and just be caught by the world.

Trust it to catch me before I hit the bottom.

And instead I was letting myself get scared.

Get so scared of falling instead of having faith in the

fact that the world wasn't just going to let me go.

That I could fall open.

Fall open and understand what it was like to be caught

by the air.

And let it hold and me and float down.

Float to the bottom.

Or not the bottom.

Get picked back up again by another breeze.

And i lost it... I missed it.

I missed it in the crazy insane chaotic life that I

somehow thrive in.

Breathe.

Watch.

Live.

Teach.

Learn.

Ache.

Thrive.

Fall.

Climb.

Experience.

Make a life out of what you have been given.

Don't be afraid to let it go.

Don't be afraid to fall.

Fall open.

A meager outlook.

Perhaps one of the main reason that I detest winter so, is the fact that all the bad things seem to heightened.

Today, as I was reading the newspaper, I realized all the articles on the front two pages were about things that were negative. How is that possible? The only thing that they could think to print were things that were negative? I don't understand. It seems as though during the summer there are only good things printed in the paper, there isn't an overwhelming surge of negativity. It seems to be pointing out all the bad things that are happening. We all know that the world is full of bad things, Uconn basketball lost, the Egyptian president won't step down, mother nature is on hiatus, people are dying, animals are being tortured, there is a war going on, monopolies popping up all over the place. WE ALL KNOW!! It's ridiculous. Especially while the weather is so crappy, why aren't all the articles about things that could take our minds off how terrible it is outside. It just further proves, that not only is the weather in new england awful, life around new england is struggling to thrive as well. In comparison, the summer newspaper has lots of negative things in it, thank you media, that is clearly your job. But it also has things in it that are going well. People are hopeful, including the journalists who write the articles. There is some serious pessimism surrounding the whole winter season, and it does nothing to help the mood of those who read, write, and enjoy the paper. The news should be the things that go on during the world, during the week. Not necessarily all the negative things that seem to be deteriorating during the last week that we were focused on local life instead of the horror that awaits us, according to the paper. It seems as though there is more to living as a hermit than the society believes. In a small country near Tibet, they have the highest rate of happiness in the world. They don't have newspapers, they don't have large social networks, and they don't have rollercoaster lives. They simply live the life that is convenient and that is local. I think that a portion of that has to do with two things. One... They don't have journalists telling them that the world is falling apart, and everything is negative. It's possible to have a positive outlook on life there, because there is proof that it can be. And they live a life that is small, and they have a social network that consists of their family, and their friends. They have a thousand fake friends that they found on a website that they may have never even seen or spoken to in person before. Two... They don't have a severe winter season where everything dies and gets covered in ice. It's miserable. It's hard to be happy and hopeful when everything around you is dying. Winter makes things less exciting and less happy, it's gray and dull and miserable. Although there are fun things to do in winter, for example, skiing, sledding, etc... but, it makes things like, daily life so much more complicated and completely fries the mood of anyone trying to go about their happy life. Between journalism and winter, how is possible to be hopeful and happy in winter?

Sometimes you have to try

I don't think that there ever comes a time in life when you stop loving someone. Perhaps, you can stop feeling for that person the way you once did, but love, no... love lasts forever. Doesn't it? I'm not sure. I think that maybe it's hard to care for someone so much and then just... stop caring for them, or their well-being. If you ever truly loved at all, you will forever care.

Maybe you can forget about someone for a while, maybe you can stop thinking about them. But I do those kinds of things for people I lost long ago, people that I never truly loved. I mean, the people you talk to everyday and see everyday, and love day in and day out.

This brings me to another thought, does love define who we are as people?

Can we truly be self-sufficient enough to not love at all? Or is that just what lonely people say to cover up the fact that they are so sad. I think that maybe it's true that you can not love someone else, or yourself, or another human being. Humans kinda suck anyway. But what about things. If you start loving... say... tea? Do you ever stop loving tea? or maybe that's a bad example, because your pallet changes over time. But what about bears or dolls or skiing or penguins, or rollerblading or lacrosse, or something like that. Do we fall out of love with those kinds of things? or do we just move on to the next thing that we love? Is it possible that we can love all of those things, we just love one thing more than another? And if it's true for static things and activities, is it not true for human relationships? Can we not love many? And do we phase through things that we love more than other things?

Perhaps there is a balance between loving and losing, and forgetting.