I wanna go with you

Baby, I swear, I miss the way you find what's inside me before I even know. You are my heart and soul, and I'm only whole again when you're here. I miss your smile and the way you blink, I miss the way our hearts beat perfectly in time when I sleep on your chest. Hold me baby, hold me close to you, and promise me that I can stay. Stay here in your arms. You don't know what you do to me, but baby you kill me. But I'd stay here six feet under the earth if you're lying here next to me. Take me wherever you're going, I just wanna be with you. wherever you are. My heart is full of you baby, and it always will be.

Dear UConn...

Dear UConn,

Why are you such a fuck?

Seriously.

There are four inches of snow on the ground, and here in New England, which Connecticut is still a part of, that's called a "Dustin' ". So why in god's name are there so many accidents on the road. And not even on the main road. The fucking campus roads. The speed limit is like 2, how did you get yourself into such a bad accident the AMBULANCE and the FIRE DEPARTMENT need to be called. What were you doing that you got yourself into a pile-up on campus roads? And on top of that... I think that it would be a good idea to get the plow trucks heated up and running BEFORE the snow stops. Like, what were they doing, sittin' around in a circle jerk thinking about how pretty the snow was while they waited for it to get bad enough to get off their asses and come help? awesome. thank you. Oh, and when you do get them started, maybe you shouldn't drive on the sidewalk where people are standing. Maybe you should have thought about this before you decided to barrel down the sidewalk annihilating everything in your path. Because I actually wasn't walking on the sidewalk, thanks. How did you know i wanted to walk in the damn snowbank.

Which brings me to my next point.

If there is an accident or the bus system is, for whatever reason, down, how about you let someone fucking know. So that I don't go out to the bus stop, thinking I can catch a bus when the schedule tells me, just to have to free my tits off waiting for a bus that isn't coming. If I had gotten an e-mail saying, don't count on the buses, they are shit. I would have put on some boots and a winter jacket and reluctantly trudged all the way to the damn art building. But no, instead, I waited over half an hour, in the snow, freezing, waiting for the allusive bus to show. And not only that, because I have had to wait for my fair share of rides in the wintery abyss. But The cops, that have ONE fucking job, didn't do ANYTHING. Like, you are a campus cop. That is one step up from a mall cop. You probably have to wait until your 10th year on the "force" before you even get fucking handcuffs, that I could buy at a fucking sex store. You didn't think, hey, i should probably stop at this bus stop, and tell these kids, that the bus isn't coming. And maybe I should stop being a dick just driving around looking for kids smoking pot. Because I'm pretty sure, that is less of an issue, than the fact that 60% of the campus is late for class today, because you were on "patrol" instead of making, literally a 3 second stop to say, " the bus isn't coming". Like is that really too much to ask?

Which brings me to my next point.

Maybe UConn should be spending less money on a basketball team who can't even beat fucking Michigan or Providence college, and idk... spend it on something that matters, like new buses, that don't SHIT in the middle of a snowstorm. Thanks. Oh, and maybe while you're at it, you could throw some money to the arts, so that when I show up for class, almost an hour late, because your fucking bus system sucks dick under pressure, I could actually have a working easel and drawing board. What a novel idea, putting tuition towards an education and educational supplies versus a bunch of dumb jock frat assholes who don't stand a chance playing more than men's league after they graduate. Thank you UConn, I'm glad to see we have out priorities straightened out.

So, in conclusion, I would like to say, fuck you. And thank you for making snow, one of the small delights in my life, such a miserable fuck. Hope you have a fun time trying to coerce me into giving you another 40,000 dollars of my hard earned money just so you can fuck me in the ass next semester.

Love,

Alysha

Going Public.

Lately it seems that all the world is in baby fever.

Everyone is talking about babies, or having babies, or knows someone who's pregnant or had a baby. What's the deal?

So this is my thought on baby fever.

Take it or leave it.

There is no point in having a child for the sake of having a child. How selfish can you be? So you want to just have a little carbon copy of yourself with someone you hardly know so that you can say you did? It just blows my mind. Why would you WANT to have to do that.

Let's be vulgar for a moment.

You have to endure 9 months of swollen feet, back aches, unpredictable mood swings, bizarre food cravings, fatigue, physical sickness, your body stretching and pulling, lifestyle changes, a multitude of appointments where someone has to cover you in jelly and poke around your vag, people staring, people cooing, inability to wear your clothes, questions questions questions, and so much more! for what? spending hours and hours in an uncomfortable hospital bed, where you have to endure arguably the worst pain of your life, where, if everything goes "well" you'll only have vaginal tearing after squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. yay. sign me up.

not to mention all the other crap that you have to deal with in life outside of the physical.

2 months without sex.

9 months without drinking or smoking.

3 months no exercise.

months and months trying to get your body back to how it was before the baby.

I just really and truly do not understand what all the hype is about.

And kids are having kids. why so young? what is the appeal to a 14 year old to even HAVE sex? blood, pain, heartbreak. not exactly a winning combination.

Nevermind a child that poops, eats, sleeps, and screams. that's worse than a puppy and I bet if you gave 80% of teens a puppy they would forget to feed it or get sick of it or abuse it in some way. and that's a puppy! what about a baby? forget about it.

Societal Pressure.

There is a novel idea. girls are getting their periods so much younger than they used to. which is basically the same as a cat going into heat. they become these walking skanks with one mission. And the ones that think its wrong? who cares. Look at the media! look at ANY magazine. the people they see on the disney channel everyday are getting married, having babies, arrested for cocaine. however, disney makes kids believe that the people they see on that channel are the same age as them. newsflash. they are upwards of ten years older than you. they live in an apartment in NY, they drink on a regular basis because its legal, and they have kids because they are married. you? don't have a license. congrats.

seriously.

all that aside. I think that people in general are de-evolving. an idea i heard from a friend of a friend. Back in the old days, girls were married and mothers by the time they were thirteen. and now in the 21st century we arent far off from that number. People are no longer waiting to get married. or waiting to have kids. People are even growing to be much shorter than they were 20 years ago. Perhaps science can figure out what the drastic change means. Or maybe, people are just preparing for 2012 when we all die in a pit of flames. who knows?

But today. right now.

things are out of hand.

getting pregnant wont make him stay with you. and it won't make you popular or any more well-off of well-liked. It might seem like a novel idea, but why wouldn't you wait until you can actually enjoy it? Until your mother won't be disappointed. Until your father won't kick the shit out of the "father". Until you are with someone who thinks you're beautiful even when you're 8 1/2 months pregnant. Until you're old enough to realize that you are Not in fact the only person in the world who matters.

Until you're absolutely ready to be a mom. not just a mother.