What's in it for me?

I sat down today thinking that I was pretty much done writing.

Who am I kidding. I'm fairly certain that this is what I was born to do with my life. And whether or not I do it is up to fate, but this is my passion. Sadly, it remains my secret.

Sometimes I wish that I could share my love of the written word with others, but I feel as though this is not a noted skill or art. It seems like I'm too... something to be a writer. Or writers are too something that I am not.

All that aside.

I want to talk about me for a minute.

In fact... a lot of minutes.

I like ducks and pigs and lots of farm animals, but usually only in cartoon form.

I don't like the texture of yogurt and

I HATE mushrooms being ill-prepared for something.

I like to create. And if I could major in anything it would be creation.

Where along the road to people start to know these things about you.

Do they ever know you as well as you know.

Can they immediately think to themselves, ah she won't like that or she will LOVE that. And be right at least 75% of the time? I think that somewhere along the road, you meet people that will know alot about you. And you will meet people that couldn't give 2 shakes of a lambs tale if you got hit by a car tomorrow. There will be people who come in and out of your life, and there will be times that you wish someone had stayed. However, there will always be someone new. Someone who will be there to listen. And someone who will take that time to make it worth your time.

There are things in life that we do for us. And there are things we do in life that we do just for the hell of doing, and there are things we do in life for others.

Why is the difference between the three so convoluted? And why is it such a bad thing to do something for yourself?

I think that in my life, I want to do as much stuff that I want to do as possible. The only person that is going to be around for the rest of my life is me. I have been living with myself forever, and will continue to, even if everyone else I know is gone. So why wouldn't I want to make myself the happiest? Maybe that's selfish, in fact, it probably is. But let's think about it this way.

If you spend your entire life, doing things for other people, while in turn, none of it benefits you other than "the feeling of doing something for someone else". Even if it's something you don't want to do. You will constantly be doing things that you don't want. and giving up opportunities! Why is that conducive to a healthy life?

I think that the only person who is truly looking out for me... is me. And if everyone is looking out for themselves... which they normally are, who is looking out for me? And when the shit hits the fan, who is there to back me up? yeah.... exactly.

I think that in all, there is only one way to make your life worth living. And that's doing what makes you happy. And if it doesn't make you happy. Then find something else that does. Because there are enough things in the world, that's for sure.