7 Stages of You

I still think of you from time to time
I watch the wind blow through your hair
and the sun smile on your cheeks
I still think of what you're doing
the subtle smile when you tease me
the laugh when just your lips are participating
I know it's broken now.
I know it will never be the way that it was.
I also know I could still reach you,
at that breaks me more for every moment
I don't.
I wonder if life would have been different
I know that it would have
I feel that sensation all the time, that we are
the star crossed lovers
We could have been everything
and yet we are not
Of all the loves in my life,
you are the strangest, boldest, strongest,
hardest, and most unique
Of the distance I have placed between my heart
and theirs
this distance hurts me the most
I dream of you
I fall into fantasy of our world
had we been able to have it.
I fall in love with every version of you
I create in my mind, and yet they all still pale
in comparison to the you I held in the afternoons
singing to you while you slept on my chest.
Strangely, so much of my life was touched by you
and yet it still feels like sometimes I awoke from
the greatest fever dream.
I don't want to hold onto hope that one day
we might have that great love.
One day we might be together the way I had
always plead for.
I don't want to hope because I don't want to break
forever.
But sometimes,
it just feels like I might.